Stéphane.

A dreaded word in the workplace if there is one. So dreaded in fact that mentionning his name is enough to conjure him in the store and I kid you not!

Stéphane must be around 25-30. It's hard to tell really because he is so tall and beaffy  that he could be a man, yet when he talks you're wondering if he's 17.

Stéphane doesn't have a clue about how social dynamics work. In a way, he reminds me of the guys in Big Bang Theory. Except those guys are socially clueless because they are just too passionate about  geeky things. Which makes them cute in a way. But there is one Big Bang guy that he is similar to: Howard.

Like Howard, Stéphane is really talkative but socially awkward. Like HH, he doesn't know when to let go. If you're nice to him, he'll stick around. If you're mean to him, he'll stick around. If you try to ignore him, guess what? He'll sure stick around! There is just no way of getting rid of the guy!

One day last week, I was the cashier at work and I was not feeling good. It was 30 minutes before the store closed and Stéphane steps in. He comes to see me at the register, and drops his grocery bags on the floor.

-Can I just put my bags there, I just come from the grocery store?

-Yes, sure.

-I also went to the drugstore!

-Ok.

-I don't own a car.

Then I do my best Daria face:

And it continues:

-I'm a land-surveyor.

(Daria face). I also continue to do my downtime duties, and make sure he has plenty of room to get out of my way, but he still doesn't get the clue:

-I have a question to ask you...

-Ok.

-Do you have any Shake N Bake?

-In the food aisle.

When he left, I had to call a co-worker to take over for me while I was getting some air and water. As I said, I was not feeling well, but the Stéphane apparition just made it worst.

Coming back from my fresh air, I wait behind my register because my coworker is in the middle of a transaction. Stéphane comes right next to me and asks:

-Where is your cash register?

-It's that one.

Then I proceed to do the next customers transaction. I ask him if he needs a bag. He says no. Stéphane, from the end of the line, makes a point to tell me he wants one. Oh I wanted to yell at him to wait for his turn!

And then his turn arrives. I scann his stuff. The last thing he puts on the conveyor belt is a dirty Montréal Canadiens flag. We sell similar ones, so for a moment I was confused. But fear not! Stéphane is there to tell me the whole story of the CH flag!

-It's dirty.

-I can see that.

-I cannot wash it in the machine.

(Daria Face)

-It will get stuck! (Shows me the stick where the flag is attached to)

-Ok.

-I cannot take it out without unsewing it.

(Daria)

-I don't know how to sew.

-Ok.

-That's why I'm buying the dishwashing liquid!

It can go on like this for so long... The other day I was reading an article about narcissistic people. How they need an audience and how whatever you do feeds their audience need. It's like a vicious circle.

I don't really have any solution to give you. Some of those people will get tired on their own and that'a bout the only way I have found to get rid of them.

Do you have any tips? Any Stéphane/Howard in your life?